I don't wanna run away anymore.

Things have been bad.
Till the extent that I've been having terrible nightmares of bleeding, being lost, all alone, trapped and stuff.
Such nightmares continued for consecutively 4 days and I wake up every morning feeling so..
Wrong.
So afraid and vulnerable i just dk how to start my day right anymore.

SYF's really tough and I can tell that laoshi's losing patience with us.
I just don't see why some people just don't have the sense of urgency.
But whatever, all i know is that i have to hang on to the end of this period.

I haven't been concentrating well in class, I couldn't think well.
I'm not in the right mental and physical state of mind and I really don't mean to nua in class.
I know my results are like complete shit yet I'm prolly not trying hard enough to push it up.
But, I'm trying.

I don't really tell anyone how I feel these days cuz I feel that I'm a burden.
& I've been welling everything up inside that I'm breaking down almost every night now and then.
I'm trying my best to hold onto everything.

My greatest concern is still my back.
Everything's screwed, everything hurts. Couldn't breathe well.

I need a break sometime.
& I need you.

Tough times don't last, only tough people do.
I'm also tired of keeping everything inside.
I'll take it slow, just hang on and be strong especially this period of time.
Once everything's over, I will slowly work on my studies.

Meanwhile,
I will be strong.
Cuz everything will be okay.
& we're gonna make it through.